Dream World

I have heard in the past that when you are pregnant your dreams are a bit more vivid and well...crazy. Let me tell you about my dream last night.

I am in the hospital surrounded by family and friends and I had just delivered the baby. I did not see that part but I knew I just delivered because, well, I wasn't pregnant anymore. So the doctor comes into the room and says we can all go see the baby now. He takes us out the door and as we are reaching the end of the hallway I see that we are on a boat. He directs us to sit on the side of the boat with our feet dangling in the water and when the baby arrives in the red helicopter we are all to reach and grab the oleo's (you know, the things that the helicopter lands on...like the helicopters feet if it were human or wheels if it were a car) and pull it in close to us.

So the helicopter lands and we grab onto it and pull it in...as it gets closer and we look in. There she is. A beautiful, dark haired little girl smiling and wiggling while sitting in a vat of spaghetti sauce with very large meatballs.

And then I woke up.

Huh.

Let me catch you up...

For those of you who do not know it is pretty difficult to get pregnant without a penis. And that's what we tried to do. So what do you do if you are two girls in a committed monogamous relationship and you're ready to start a family? The first step usually taken is Google and it's pretty funny the things you will enter into a computer... how to get pregnant without a penis or how to start a family with two moms etc... So after a few endless hours of searching sites and reading through message boards you will run across fertility clinic websites. A HA! AT LAST! Some concrete information that is based solely on facts. Facts and prices. HOLY CRAP!! HOW MUCH???!!! Hello Craigslist, here I come. Not really, but don't think we didn't think about it! Either that or we could've taken my moms advice "Honey, why don't you just go down to the bar, get some tequila in ya and do it the old fashion way". I love ya, Mom. So I found a fertility clinic in the area, which was also recommended by a friend, found their website and got to researching. The first thing they recommend you do is to find sperm. Well, no shit. So they give you the cryobank they recommend and you create an account and type in the perfect match. After you find the sperm donor you want you find the message board. You become friends with these couples who are trying to do the same thing you are. You learn that some of these women have been trying to get pregnant for years!! Some are on their 2nd try and some are on the 22nd try! And those women who are on their 22nd try are the most caring, loving and optimistic people you will ever chat with. It really is amazing. So you share your story with them and all of a sudden you are their best friends. No Joke. These are the only people you want to talk to! I was telling stories to my family and co workers about these couples like I actually knew them! It really was wonderful to hear stories about the same thing I was going through. So all donors are assigned a number since it's private and no names are given out. We call ours 90210...to make us laugh.
After the initial Dr. appointments and the psych evaluation and the consultations nd the blood testing you begin ovulation testing. The first time you do your ovulation testing it really is the most exciting time you will have peeing on a stick. You pee and wait for that little smiley face to pop up and when it does you celebrate like you are actually pregnant. It's kind of silly now that I look back on it and I am very lucky to have such wonderful girls at work who (at least pretended to be) excited with me. So you call your Dr. and make your appointment. The first time you go into that little room and get in the ready position and they bring in the over $500 vial of specimen that you bought you look at it and say "Where is the rest of it?! I paid way to much for two drops of yuck!" The dreaded Two Week Wait (TWW), the time in between your insemination and your blood test to see if it worked, is the longest time you will ever know. You try to keep yourself as busy as possible and it just isn't enough.
So the first time they called me with my results was terrible. Negative. A Big Fat Negative. Shit. I guess the only thing to do know is rinse, wash and repeat.
So we did it again. Results. Possitive!! WOOHOOO!! The most exciting moment in my life!! Then we schedule a 5 week sonogram. Turns out I had an ectopic pregnancy. This is where the pregnancy attaches somwhere other than where it's suppose to. Mine attached at the very end of my tube. Emergency surgery.
Rinse, wash and repeat. 3rd try. Negative.
Rinse, wash and repeat. 4th try. Possitive. Still very exciting but not quite as excited yet until we find out where this one landed. After our first sonogram we saw it. There it was. In the right place. With a heartbeat. I cried. It was probably one of the best feelings I had ever had.
So now I am 10 weeks 7 days and moody as hell. Welcome to my pregnancy. Hold on it may get a little bumpy.